Being single has to be one of the most stressed things ever, and in a world where so much importance is placed on dating, it can be a bit hard to resonate and get comfortable with your single life, especially if you’re deliberately choosing to be. I struggled for a while with this and it took me some time to realize that being single isn’t necessarily a bad thing and if you do it right, you’d come around to love being by yourself. Na single I single, I no kill person.

mindy kaling

Learn how to love yourself

I mean this in every possible way. There’s a saying that you can’t love someone if you don’t already love yourself, and honestly nothing has been truer. It’s in the little things, like learning how to do your own things and not having to depend on someone else, giving yourself reaffirmations every day. Being comfortably single doesn’t happen overnight, it’s a process that you are most involved in. Here’s a little secret right, try doing those things you’d do with a partner by yourself instead. Go see the new movie alone, enjoy the large popcorn all by yourself. That Jamaican restaurant you’ve been eyeing, go there, get a table for one and grub out. (this one is my sub).


Do something you ordinarily wouldn’t do, or you’ve wanted to do for a long time.

I read this book right, and anytime the main character Lottie found herself single, she would do something drastic, like get a tattoo or dye her hair hot pink. I’m not telling you to do any of that, but what I’m trying to say is the time you’re single is the best time to focus on yourself. Learn a new craft, do a masters degree, start a blog (this is what I did, ha!). That awesome business idea you’ve had since forever? Start working on it. Sitting on your bed and brooding on how you’ll die alone while stuffing yourself with unhealthy food will not help. Drop the ice-cream bucket, please dear.


You want to be alone and that’s okay

While I was struggling with the idea of being alone, I asked myself two questions. Do I want to be in a relationship? Yes, Kinda. Do I want to make the conscious effort into dating? Nope, not really. The idea of being with someone is great, awesome, but sometimes you want to be by yourself and that’s okay.

You realize that at this point, you’d rather go out with your friends and have the best time than spend another weird night with the guy you met at the bank the other day. It is completely, absolutely fine. Don’t let the internet or anyone pressure you into a relationship, not even yourself! The idea is to be single and enjoy the heck out of it. You owe no explanations.



This is actually an affirmation I give myself whenever I find myself feeling down. You have this whole life ahead of you and you will definitely not spend the rest of it alone. (Unless you decide to).

Being comfortably single is one of the best things you can do for yourself, it helps you get less dependent on another person and more dependent on yourself. It helps you show yourself more love, thereby you’re able to extend that love towards others… And before you know it, everything will fall into place.


Hey, here’s ten ways to enjoy the heck out of being single!


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  1. Bottom line, ‘love will find you and you’d be ready’. Apt!

    1. leslieozoaka says:

      Yes, that is the bottom line. Thanks for reading x

  2. Adesuwa says:

    I needed this! Thanks hun

    1. leslieozoaka says:

      you’re welcome babes x

  3. The truth is if you haven’t found yourself or learnt to love yourself properly, you probably will not value the true love of someone’s else. Being single is fun, and being in a relationship is fun too. Just enjoy yourself either way.

    1. leslieozoaka says:

      Exactly, spot on.

  4. Oluchi says:

    Your last point sunk. Sunk real hard.
    “Love will find you and you’d be ready!”


  5. leslieozoaka says:

    I know right, that’s why you should learn to carry your singleness with dignity and learn to develop yourself while you’re single and have the chance. Thank you for reading babe.

  6. Thank you for this post Leslie. It really did feel like you were talking to me !

    1. leslieozoaka says:

      You’re so welcome babe

  7. You wrote so well! It’s good to have you back oh, please keep them coming our wild rose!

    1. leslieozoaka says:

      Thanks Amaka, feels good to be back.

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