Now here’s some unsolicited advice for the 20-something year old girl, because really no one ever tells us the shit we’re doing wrong in our twenties.
See, a shit ton of people think the most difficult time in a young woman’s life is during adolescence or teenage-hood, that shit ton of people are quite wrong. I’m not about to downplay or undermine what being a teenage girl feels like, because I have been down that road and I would not take a billion dollars to do it again. Wait, maybe I will, but that’s a story for another day.
There’s so much stuff that happens in your twenties that no one really prepares you for, no not even your mother (especially not your mother, if you’re Nigerian). We grow up just trying to waddle our way through life like newborn ducks learning how to fucking walk, and then we twist our little webbed feet here and there, fall and try to get back up only to waddle again. Wait, why am I comparing us to ducks? We are not ducks, we are wholesome women. So, here’s some unsolicited advice for the 20-something year old, from a fellow 20-something year old who’s still waddling through but with a little more stability.
THE REAL HEARTBREAK DID NOT HAPPEN WHEN YOU WERE SIXTEEN.
If anyone had told me I’d get my heart broken worse than I did when my secondary school crush did not ask me to be his girlfriend, I’d have written BIG FAT LIAR on their forehead. Your first crush not liking you back is not going to be the worst thing to happen in your love life. Your twenties are for living, loving as often as you can and drinking red wine at 2 am after seeing your ex with the girl he swore was just his course mate. Not that it happened to me, as if!
SHOWING EMOTION IS PERFECTLY NORMAL.
I can’t count the number of times I have been told – especially by men – to stop being emotional, it fucking sucks. I believe that the concept of putting a negative stamp on show of emotion only shows the lack of emotional intelligence to understand your own feelings. Let me tell you now that hiding or “locking up” emotions is not healthy, mentally or physically. As a young woman, you will feel a plethora of emotions at every point in your life, and it is perfectly okay to let them show. There is no such thing as being ‘too sensitive’.I believe that the concept of putting a negative stamp on show of emotion only shows the lack of emotional intelligence to understand your own feelings. Click To Tweet
I think your twenties is the point where every young woman is most sensitive about her body, It’s worse in this generation because there are a lot of body standards on social media that may make you feel insecure if you do not live up to them.
Up until tomorrow, I continue to reassure myself that my body is wonderfully made. Stretch marks will occur, your boobs may not be perfectly perky and you might not look like Tyra Banks in her prime, but you have every reason to be to love and cherish your body. As long as you are healthy, you are perfect.
YOU DO NOT HAVE TO TOLERATE BULLSHIT.
Honestly you don’t, because the more disrespect you tolerate, the more disrespect you will get. It’s necessary to create boundaries no matter how close you are with someone, this is important especially in your relationships with men. As a young woman who knows what she wants out of life and goes out of her way to achieve it, you will come across people who will try to undermine your efforts, disrespect and disregard you simply because you are a woman. I promise you it is okay to fuck them up. Yes, fuck them up.
YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE MARRIED AT 25!!!!!
One of the most irking things women in their twenties go through is the constant questions from family, friends and society in general of “when are you going to get married?” “You need to go and find a husband” Especially in this part of the world. We place so much importance and emphasis on marriage that we tend to overlook the things that really matter sometimes. I said in a previous post that love will find you at the right time; you do not have to rush things. It is better to be single, healthy and happy than to be in a relationship you may regret for the rest of your life.
Your twenties is the perfect time to live freely and unapologetically. Be happy, secure the bag for your future and be a badass at the same time.
Let me know how you feel about this post, did anything resonate with you? Share with me in the comments.